Are you 'dating' or 'in love' ?

Usually people perceive ā€œbeing in loveā€ and ā€œdatingā€ as same things. While in love and friendship people generally want to be with someone who knows us well enough to understand our best and worst characteristics. But itā€™s not same in dating.

Earlier in dating, at least, two people are not committed to each other and donā€™t even look for close attachment. Rather, they just look for acceptance and want to like or be liked by the other partner. They generally hope for compliments and praise. The main aim is to go out and have fun and they are on their best behavior.

Then there is sexual motivation which differentiates romantic relationship from dating. Simpson and Gangestad (1991,1992) have found that people differ in whether their primary motivation in seeking a romantic partner is sex or closeness.

This difference falls along a personality dimension like at one extreme there are individuals who are willing to engage in sexual interaction without emotional bonding, closeness or commitment and on the other extreme there are individuals who consider sexual relationship must be based on emotional bonding, closeness or commitment.

Physical violence is yet another aspect found in dating besides sexuality. One of the partners (usually the male) may abuse the others. Sugarman and Hotaling (1989) report that 40 percent of U.S women experience violence from a person they are dating. The girls have to face physical, mental and emotional abuse. Statistics show that one out of every three teenager has to face dating violence.

In dating one partner wants to have control or power over another and take it to be his property. Itā€™s same across nations. The male thinks he possess the other partner and could demand for intimacy, even has notion that being aggressive is ā€˜masculineā€™,and they have got all the ā€˜rightā€™ to control their partner in any way they want.

While on the other hand girl usually thinks their partnerā€™s aggressiveness, jealousy and even physical abuse as ā€˜romanticā€™. They think abuse is normal as many of their friends are also going through same situation and the feeling that they have the responsibility of solving problems makes them stick to their partner and get abused time and again.

Generally itā€™s the teenagers who are abused more as they have more romantic views of love and are not experienced in handling dating relationships.

According to one study it was found that 38% of date rape victims were in the age group of 14 to 17 years. 7 % of the murder victims were young women who were murdered by their boyfriends in 1995.

Respect is an important aspect in every relationship so if an individual is not getting the much needed basic requirement in the very start of the relationship than how could they expect anything else later on, itā€™s better to finish it off there and than rather than hoping for miracles. After all they are also valuable person who must be treated with respect.